#TPFEATURES
Oh my Ghost! A guide to NOT get ghosted!
By: Alex Jillian Adanza & Lei Añola | November 19, 2022
Have you ever read a book and encountered 3 dots by the end of a chapter or sometimes by the end of the book itself?
Ellipsis (…)
That’s what they’re called. It is not an end but a pause, like when you’re hanging on a cliff and can’t seem to let go because your fight is not yet done. Like when someone leaves without you knowing they’re leaving, and so you stay and expect them to come back. Parang GHOSTERS.
It’s scary. To have been left with what-ifs and to question why they vanished out of the blue. This occurrence is frightening more than real ghosts because with ghosts, you see and feel that quick adrenaline, and it soon disappears; with them, you don’t have to question and there are no what-ifs.
The melancholic feeling of being ghosted is to be left hanging without the other person saying a word. This type of situation hurts the most. It will leave the other person wondering where they went wrong — the what ifs and what it would’ve, could’ve, should’ve been. With no proper closure or goodbye, it leaves a mark on the “ghosted” person that they will remember all too well.
Have you ever wondered why people suddenly disappear without saying a word?
There are many unexplainable reasons for this, but behind it, there is the existence of ghosters who tend to disappear rather than communicate their feelings toward a person. Maybe because it’s easier to pretend that nothing ever happened or simply because they just don’t want to talk about it and they unconsciously leave the other person suffering from their actions.
Meanwhile, some ghosters have their own reasons to support their behaviors. Maybe it isn’t healthy for them anymore. When they are mentally unstable to listen and carry another person’s baggage, they’ve had enough of being the go-to friend, or when they realize that conversation is irrelevant in their life anymore. It all depends on the person. Most of the time, they are the type of people who refuse to face their problems, so they resort to “ghosting” people out of nowhere.
And with that, let’s get to know who and how we can identify our very own real-life ghosts through their common one-liners:
“Kain lang ako”
This is one of the most common lines from a potential ghoster seen in social media. Kakain lang daw, but then they won’t contact you after a month or so. Buong bahay ba nila kinain niya?
Inbox-zoned
How is it possible for someone who’s online both messenger and facebook, to not reply to your messages? You’ll tell yourself, “Nakakahiya namang kulitin sila.” So, all you can do is to look at your window and wait for them to see and reply to your messages.
“Gawa lang ako schoolworks”
It’s valid for someone to take their time off especially when it comes to responsibilities. But then when someone vanishes after saying that, I guess their schoolworks have drowned them up :0
“Tulog lang ako”
Sometimes they’re telling the truth, but in a ghosting world? That’s just an excuse to not message you. Kinabukasan, ‘di na ‘yan magchachat.
Seen
Have you ever experienced being “seen-zoned”? Wherein the one you’re chatting with will leave your messages on read but never replies. Remember that “no response” is still a response. Masakit sa pride! At this phase, just distance yourself already.
The “bumabalik-balik” type of ghoster
These are the types of people who will ghost you and will come back as if they did nothing wrong, or when it’s finally convenient for them to talk to you.
It’s difficult to think that some people are left with a pause and never know when to end. So as Paulinians who serve for the green and yellow, let us be true and embody the spirit of responsibility and self-respect. We are all affected by people leaving ellipsis in our lives, so as we journey in this world together, always remember that constant communication is the key. Do not be afraid of being honest. Show your utmost true self; and from there, you will find no guilt. But if you ever experience being ghosted, may you remember that “no response is a response itself.” Value yourself, your time, and your peace of mind. Let go of those who chose to let you go and forgive even without anyone seeking forgiveness. It will definitely hurt, but it will be for the better.
And of course, kung hindi magpapa-ghost, hindi rin dapat mang-ghost! Let’s prove that Paulinians are walking green flags!
